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Y sobre todo...a parte de tantos consejos...es tene una mente abierta y dispuestos a conocer gentes.

I was only talking about this  the other week.That I dont have any friends. So I will try out these tips thanks

Whatever your hobby is at home, do it abroad, preferably by joining a club.

in additon to all you guys have said,i think we should look more friendly so that locals and expats can easily approach us.

Find a local activity to join. I took up improv and I met a lot of friends through doing that, both local Dutch and expats

Hello! Sorry if some of these are repeats. Here are some tips I picked up from my move to Ireland three years ago:

1) Volunteer- on the weekends or while you are job hunting, take some time out to volunteer doing something you enjoy. By doing something for your new community you are integrating yourself into it and taking ownership.

2) Become a regular somewhere- whether its a grocery store or a cafe, developing a routine means you will start to see some familiar faces and feel more at home in your new home. Create a rapport with other patrons and soon you will have people in your life who you look forward to seeing on a regular basis.

3) Satisfy your spiritual needs- Joining a religious or spiritual group can help you to meet people with whom you have things in common and can be a safe, comforting place to go when things get a little (or a lot) rocky during your transition.

4) Smile!- It seems obvious but on a night out or just wandering around, you are much more likely to be approached by locals or other expats if you look like you are fun and friendly. I also found that turning up the American accent in bars was an invitation to be approached by curious people who wanted to talk about their trips to the US.

5) Be confused- Ask for directions, advice and recommendations from people you meet. Locals love telling new people about their city so ask lots of questions and take notes! In that same vein, don't be a know-it-all. Let locals tell you about their city, even if they are telling you things you already know. When they are done you can surprise them with some of your own random trivia!

6) Talk to people when you travel- when I first moved to Ireland I spent weekends traveling to cities other than Dublin. One weekend I got talking to a group of girls my age in a bar and it turns out they lived down the street from me in Dublin! We ended up hanging out for a few months until they moved back home to Sweden.

7) Play tour guide- Invite family and friends from home to visit and then get your acquaintances to recommended places to take tourists. Invite them to come along on your tour. Lots of times locals don't know things about their own cities and would love the excuse to get to do touristy things they would never do otherwise.

8) Know whats going on- Familiarize yourself with local politics, sports, arts and other happenings in the community. Not only is this a great way to start up conversations with people you've just met, it can be a good way to socialize with these same people and make your face known. Chances are, especially in a small town, you will get lots of brownie points for cheering on the home team or supporting the local drama group.   

9) Talk to everyone- Don't dismiss people because of where you meet them or what you think you know about them. Go out of your way to meet your neighbors. If you see the same guy at the bus stop all the time, say hi. If you keep running into the same lady all over town, introduce yourself. If nothing else, you have a new friend to sit on the bus with.

10) Don't forget the obvious- learn the language, be friendly and open minded, observe local customs especially manners, talk about yourself (but not too much), ask questions, explore and get lost, use the resources that are available to you, look at every new experience as an adventure!

Thats an interetsing  topic

Well I cant think of any new things as all of them are already covered by you guys.

infact I have taken these tips and will implement. This is indeed a nice subject.

Its been like 2 months in Nairobi...and I have been able to connect with the locals quite nicely. The locals are very warm too.

one of the tips was (have kids!)
I thought that was so funny
Have kids to make friends LOL

i dont have many ideas, but i thing that involving in sport club or GYM could be a good start

Wow - thank you for all these amazing tips, everyone!!!  I have a few of my own (probably some are duplicates of other people's, but nevertheless...)

1) I am an ESL Teacher - and i have learnt the most from my students - about what to do, what not to do, what is culturally acceptable, where to go, where not to go - what is an absolute MUST to visit, etc - and have made a few friends from among my female students, who have invited me to a wedding or two - another great place to make new (female!!) friends!

2) Definitely make friends with local colleagues - and accept their invitations to go out and explore!!! - this has been my biggest resource in Libya - through them I have met other friends, seen the countryside, discovered new restaurants, and gotten to see where the locals eat and hang out, etc

3) If you get the opportunity to attend a workshop or course also attended by local people - take it!!!  You will make amazing new friends you never expected to - I have been invited to a local friend's home this way

4) Ladies - get your hair cut where other local ladies get their hair cut!!!  This is a slower process, but it does eventually work.

5) Try NOT to live in a "compound" (surrounded by walls and other expats!!) if possible, but live in the local neighbourhood.  This is a slower process, but eventually the local people get to know you - and there are amazing opportunities to practise the language - and you make friends even (or especially! ) when you make mistakes!

6) Take a Black and White Taxi!!!  (This is for those living in Tripoli!!!  ) Some taxi drivers are only too keen to talk - and again, you get to practise even the most basic language!!!  And you gain confidence too!

7) of course, you can see from the above, that learning the local language (even a few phrases, to start off with!) are an absolute MUST!!!  This will get you a long way to being endeared to the local people - and in the Arab world, the LOCAL dialect is the best!!!

8) Above all, learn to go with the flow of the local environment - DONT come expecting to enjoy the comforts of home, or you may be disappointed - and not learn a thing!  Just learn to soak up the local atmosphere, enjoy the differences (celebrate them, in fact!) - and have FUN!!!

9) Take that first step out of your accommodation - and go walkabout!!!  See where you end up - explore!  You never know who you may encounter on the street, or in a local shop!  Colleagues of mine (a newly arrivedd couple) went walkabout on their first day in the country, got invited into a shop when the owner heard them speaking English, and then promptly got invited to lunch!!!  They found o9ut more on their first day in the country, than i had found out in 3 months!  (Of course, it helped that one of them was a GUY...!!  )

From all of this, I am sure you've gathered that I am very PRO getting to know the local people!!!  For me, that is what it's all about, anyway, or I might as well have stayed home!!!  So be adventurous, and be expectant - and you will have fun!

alot of tips were given on the above topic but i think these tips r not enought. one do have to face alot of problems as an expat.

Learn how to prepare their Local food and teach them how to prepare one  or two from your country as well.

Bu Abood wrote:

Buy a Harley Davidson..it alwasy works when making friends....

S'true. I'd be friends with anyone with a Harley

You need time to make friends and speaking the local language helps too. Criticizing the locals for being unfriendly isn't a great way to break down barriers It's not as if unfriendly people don't exist in our countries too. Quality is better than quantity for friends

Be simple but look stylish Be tough but look soft Be tensed but look cool Be a beginner but look winner. Thats the way of life.. Life has no pause buttons! Dreams have no expiry date! Time has no holiday! So, DonÂ’t waste a single moment in ur life. Live it...

Sameer

1- You must know at least basic things from their culture.
2- once you've learned what they are most likely to do, you could try to share those activities with them, such as sharing meals together
3- always be open to new things. some people feel rejected when you don't accept things from their culture
4- Tell them about your culture, things you are used to do back at your place. that will always be a good topic in conversations
5- Never disrespect their way of thinking. that would make them feel unappreciated
6- Try not to make offensive comments, such as racist jokes. If you do, they will feel like minority
7- NEVER try to prove to them that you are better than them. Everyone is good in their own way
8- Be patient. Don't worry if you don't fit in the first day. You'll do in time
9- Be friendly and respectful with everyone, treat them right and you will be treated that way!
10- The last one and the most important one, YOU MUST ALWAYS BE YOURSELF, KEEP REAL TO WHO YOU ARE AND FEEL PROUD ABOUT BEING FOREIGN. DON'T BE SCARED OF SHOWING WHO YOU REALLY ARE. BEING NATURAL, YOU'LL GET FAR.

Hi guys,, G8 tips and discussion, its really helpful...

be cool with all check web site go parties enjoy ur life...

Halo Amigo's

You know, there is something else to consider and that is this mad world we all live in.

If you guys start frequenting political sites, you will be shocked at the race and religious war that's going on, its frightening.

There is no substitute for understanding it, and why this world is pulling un las pelotas.

When you meet a racist or a bigot, try explaining whats really happening in the world to them... that is, there is a Euro Dollar war going on and the bankers are desperately trying to divide the world, to pull off the global currency shift.

You see they cant say, those evil Taliban Arab dudes are really protecting the Euro's poppy trade, and Obama has got the whole USA army in there to help his Euro drug smuggling buddies... etc.
No, they have to be doing something other than drug dealing in Afghanistan... so they fighting "terrorism".

Its probably too much to explain here, but understanding this world is what breaks the bigotry down, you have to expose the bankers and politicians for the cretins they are.

Then what happens is interesting... the conversation becomes, hell yeah, my politicians are also assholes, and I hate the bankers as well... ha ha

No substitute for making friends by finding a common enemy... try it

Then you can get past that propaganda the bankers are putting out, and will even get away with, "lets go have some comida you terrorist", to which you might get something like... si colonialist gringo... or whatever is relevant.

The nicey stuff in this thread makes me want to puke... its not about being "nice", its about understanding why you hate each other in the first place... and that is whats really stupid!

Thing about being on the same wavelength, is that color quickly disappears.

Of course the banco bandidos may kill you for exposing them, but they seem determined to kill us all anyway, so why not tell people the truth.

Never try justify religion, its impossible, because on the other side of that holy hand, is intolerance... they'll eventually figure out that the Pope is Dollar and that the Ayatollah and Israel are Euro... for now anyway.

When religion comes up, I always say, god may be real, but religion is definitely man made... with no further comment.

And now some mad priest may kill you... ha ha.
Point is, if you haven't got your head in the sand, its easy to make friends...

Be warned some people find it easier to hate... but leave them alone, the bankers need idiots to go die for them in another stupid war, they terminal anyway

Saludos Amigo's

most people find getting a pet dog helpful.

1. its a people magnet
2. gets you outdoors alone
3. a conversation starter

hope it helps

acanthe wrote:

most people find getting a pet dog helpful.

1. its a people magnet
2. gets you outdoors alone
3. a conversation starter

hope it helps

I got a rottweiler ha ha... they'd have to phone me

But good advice for animal lovers, one of the best things anyone can do is get to know their dog, they really are beautiful creatures... you might not even notice that your the only one in the park, with your best friend.

One more idea:

Volunteer with a local charity group.

Just buy a six pack go to lounge-chilling area and share.
Plus smoking helps

Julien wrote:

We've been talking about loneliness when you're abroad, let's now talk about how to make (local and other expats) friends when you're living far from home

Which are your 10 best tips?

facebook is a great friend maker...

Join different groups and just get out there to make friends!

At the same time you try to learn local language, try to teach somebody your own. No need to be a teacher, just a language exchange.
It is easy to post a free ad in any related website.

In malaysia we really dont need to learn malay as most of them know english that makes it easier to be friends..

i think also one of the important thing the internet to find friends near your area and our site will help us to find good friends to help you

i agree with Invader_Stu...

find activities to join...you are going to meet lot of people...

those are really interesting tips, thank you all for sharing

i've been using a lot of what have been mentioned.....

for me the one that could break the ice..... "learning the language, & even if it's hard for you couple of nice words shall do perfect job"

BR

I guess smiling is the first way to attract positive vibes and start a good conversation.

I'm a week+ in KL, Malaysia and already feeling lonely (at the same time very quiet!). I'm trying by Smiling a lot (not too much), started learning numbers and basic words (like water, soda, food etc) in Bahasa Malay, getting active in expat-blogs etc

i'm just trying to unlock my account.  Funny that I got a scam email today but i'm not able to email people who live close to me.  I don't know of any expat groups in my city, I thought this would be a site to use but I don't want to talk to people via internet. I have friends at home for that. I want to DO things. I am TRYING to meet people using THIS site.

If you have received a scam email, please report the user by either by clicking the report link or contact us page. We will take appropriate measures instantly.

I'm agree with Izmirian.
We can make a friend by using Facebook. And I did it.
One day, somebody sent me an email through Facebook. He was looking for Indonesian community in Kinshasa, since he lived in Indonesia before. After sent several emails, we decided to meet and be friends. After all, I don't only make friend with him but also with his other friends..
Another suggestion, join gym. You're gonna meet new people and it's a good start to make a new friend.

Great topic.
1. learn their language.
2. learn their culture.
3. learn their history.
4. go to church or mosque
5. go to the main squares/gathering places
6. before you go, find out if their are groups that share common interests as you do (for example a chess club or a knitters group) find them and hang out.
7.  Stay off the beaten path.
8.  be generous
9. be kind
10. be genuine
11. learn the language.

Always wear a smile on your face, that will really helps!

For unmarried and unattached best thing is to find a boyfriend or girlfriend in the new country

Thanks for the tips!