Being an expat isn't easy. It can be fun, interesting, eye-opening 鈥� but it comes with its share of hardships and lessons. Today, we are focusing on the lessons we learn as expats at the very beginning of the journey. Here are the six lessons you will most likely learn in your first half a year abroad.
Lesson one: Culture shock is real
"When I first came to a small town in China, my world turned upside down. On my first morning here, I looked out of the windows and saw people literally walking backwards. I later learned that this was a popular morning exercise here, as people here believe that walking backward is good for memory and problem-solving skills. That same day, I went to have breakfast with my colleagues, and we had a very spicy noodle soup right in the middle of a busy street. By lunch time, I felt like I was in parallel reality 鈥� and it took me over a month to start making sense of things", shares Alina, an expat in Huizhou, China.
Moving to a new country comes with an inevitable culture shock. The more differences there are between your point A and your point B, the harder culture shock may hit you. Initially, culture shock may mask itself as excitement and novelty: everything around you feels fresh and ready to explore. But, as this first wave of excitement starts to fade, you may find yourself dealing with unfamiliar customs, social norms, and day-to-day life.
The key to going through this period is to accept and even embrace the discomfort as a natural (and often temporary) stage in the adjustment process. Resisting these challenges can be counterproductive 鈥� so a better option is to try to "revert yourself" to the initial state of excitement and openness to all things new. Keep in mind that culture shock can be a valuable opportunity for personal growth and a broadened perspective.
Lesson two: Observation is key
"When I first moved to Tokyo, I felt completely out of my depth. I didn't speak Japanese, but I've heard a lot about Japan's strict code of politeness, and I was always worried about offending someone. But I started paying closer attention to how people behaved around me, and I had a lot of free time (laughs). This actually helped a lot. I noticed that people always lined up neatly on one side of the escalator to let others pass, so I did the same. I also noticed that people spoke quietly on public transport and avoided eating while walking. I am from New York 鈥� so things are very different back home," says Ben, an expat in Tokyo, Japan.
Observation is one of the most powerful tools an expat can use. Sure, research, expat forums, and reading about the new destination can greatly help. But watching first-hand how locals interact in everyday situations can give you invaluable insights into the unspoken and, perhaps, undocumented rules of your host country.
Lesson three: Bureaucracy is everywhere
"I was expecting some paperwork when I moved to Spain, but I was still overwhelmed. Things here are done quite differently compared to the UK, and because my Spanish was limited, everything ended up taking longer. A lot of administrations here close mid-day for a siesta, and not everyone knows how to deal with foreign papers. Everything was a bit of a quest for me here: translating my marriage certificate, applying for a tax number, opening a bank account. But we persevered, and now I understand how everything works much better", shares Justin, an expat in Marbella, Spain.
Few of us like dealing with paperwork. In fact, the hatred of bureaucracy could well be universal. Unfortunately, paperwork for expats is often multiplied. You will be applying for a visa, opening a bank account, securing housing, translating and legalizing documents from home, etc. Moreover, each country has its own set of rules, procedures, and expectations 鈥� and a lot of these can seem overly intricate or inefficient to an outsider.
When dealing with bureaucracy, organization and anticipation are key. Being in a foreign country, you will discover that a lot of things may be out of your control. So, it's best to focus your energy on what you can control. Keep all your essentials ready and in order: passports, identification, proof of address, and financial statements. For every bureaucratic task that comes your way, create a checklist and double-check all the requirements. It's always better to leave more time for each task than you initially anticipated. Checking with fellow expats and asking questions on expat forums can also be very helpful here.
Lesson four: Expect financial surprises
"When I first moved to T眉rkiye with my family, I thought I had a solid plan. But it all almost came crashing down when we learned that here, we'd have to pay one year's worth of rent in advance. This is an almost unspoken rule here, and everybody knows. But we didn't. We spent a lot of time negotiating, but nobody wanted to rent to foreigners without the payment upfront. We finally agreed on a 6-months payment 鈥� but even that stretched our budget a lot. And then came the price hikes (as the country's inflation accelerated to 70% in April 2024)", shares Ivan, an expat in Antalya, T眉rkiye.
Moving abroad often comes with hidden financial surprises. They could come in many forms: different real estate traditions, unexpected taxes, fluctuating exchange rates, the cost of new paperwork, etc. Any of these can easily catch you off guard. Climate can be a consideration here too: you may end up paying more for heating or in electricity bills for air conditioning. Even grocery bills may be higher than anticipated.
To avoid being blindsided by these unexpected costs, budget for the worst-case scenario. Start by thoroughly researching the cost of living in your new destination. And try to look into the practical living costs. For instance, you can ask on expat forums how much the average utility bill is or if there are any specifics when signing a rental contract. You may also want to look into relocation costs carefully: how much the move will cost you, what paperwork and other fees you will need to pay, etc. Once you have all that information, the best way to approach your financial planning may be to double potential expenses and have that sum ready for your move 鈥� this would make you feel safe and protected against any possible force majeure. If this is not an option, try to create any possible safety net on top of your expense estimations. Perhaps you have friends and family who can help you in case of emergencies 鈥� or contacts in your new destination.
Lesson five: You'll learn to be resilient
"I moved to Germany basically overnight. My move was not a decision but more a turn of political events. I didn't speak the language, didn't have a plan, had no idea how to deal with paperwork. It's now two years later, and I can't believe I figured it all out. It's funny how you can plan something for years and never actually make the leap and then be pushed into a decision and watch yourself work everything out on the go鈥�, shares Zhenya, expat in Munich, Germany.
Most expats will agree with one thing: moving to a new country teaches you to be adaptive, resilient, and scrappy. Things you never thought you could do, you end up figuring out 鈥� because there is no other way. As stressful and uncomfortable this may be, this newness is often what makes us stronger and more determined to make a life for ourselves in a new environment.
This may sound clich茅, but moving abroad is the best time to tap into your fear. It's not the most pleasant experience, but fear can be a strong motivator to do things more efficiently and waste less time on procrastination. Each hurdle you overcome at this point is a stepping stone. Even something as seemingly small as mastering public transport in a new city is an important "level up". Over time, what initially felt overwhelming will turn into confidence.
Lesson six: Home is not a place
"I never thought I'd live abroad. But I am now an expat in Kenya. My first months here, I was upset all the time, nothing was the same, and I missed home every day. But my family was with me, and they were very supportive. Home would not be home without them. And now I am looking at our move as an adventure", shares Leena, an expat in Nairobi, Kenya.
There is nothing wrong with missing home 鈥� or, at least, certain aspects of home. Home is the place you know, the place where you have friends, and even the food often tastes better there. But moving abroad often shows us that home is a feeling rather than a place.
There are some aspects of your home that you can take with you 鈥� and some you can recreate. We live at a time when staying in touch with friends and family is easier than ever - no matter how far they are. And there are lots of old traditions you can keep up and new traditions that you can create using modern technology. You can cook the food you miss and turn nostalgia into creativity. As time goes by, you may see that home is less about geography and more about connection and purpose. It's in the routines you build, the relationships you nurture, and the sense of belonging you create for yourself.
At the end of the day, living abroad is a non-stop learning experience. And we may all come across individual lessons that teach us what we need the most. Share your lessons with other expats and learn about theirs 鈥� we are in this together 鈥� and what someone learned yesterday may be exactly what you need for a better tomorrow.
